Photo Likes

Semalem sebelum tidur Dilara minta liat fotonya di fesbuk... wait wait wait how many people like my picture... mo pingsan gitu pas liat ada 39 yg ngelike! What! Almost one hundred! (yeee gemana sih matematikanya...). Nanti pulang sekolah kl tau fotonya udah 79 yg ngelike bakalan heboh banget deh...‪#‎anakjamancekalang‬

To Blog or Not to Blog...

Ini postingan keempat gue di blog ini. Tulisan pertama, dibuat di tahun 2012, waktu kami masih di Um Uthaina. Waktu itu gue nulis (di status kyknya ya.. apa dinotes?) di facebook, lalu temen-temen rame rame ngedorong-dorong buat nulis lagi. Akhirnya dibuatlah blog ini dengan setengah hati, judulnya 'To Blog or not to Blog".  Dan bener aja, blog itu nggak pernah diupdate-update. Jangankan blog 'galau' kayak gitu, blog kristik yg gue niatin nulisnya aja akhirnya terbengkalai. Nggak tau kenapa, sejak pindah ke Dheir Ghbar, adaaa aja yg bikin gue (sok) sibuk. Selain itu,  pada saat yg sama gue nemu temen-temen kristik di Indonesia di facebook, sampai gue akhirnya jadi admin di beberapa events. Rasanya lebih simple aja posting2 di fb, lebih cepet, singkat, dan ga mikir panjang spt kalo bikin postingan di blogspot, terutama karena blog kristik itu gue khususnya penulisannya dalam bahasa Inggris karena 'pasar'nya emang kristikus luar negeri. Nah males kan bo, nulis pake mikir hehehe... Ga kerasa postingan terakhir gue disitu adalah waktu Dilara masih di Foundation Stage 2 (TK), lha sekarang anaknya udah di Year 2!

Sering sih, berkali kali timbul keinginan utk update blog kristik itu, tapi gue selalu mikir, ntar deh tunggu momen... ntar deh tunggu tahun baru biar bisa konsisten mulai di awal tahun. Tapi ga kunjung jadi jadi juga! Sementara ngeblog biasa, berkali kali maju mundur. Antara keinginan untuk bercerita tapi malu dibaca orang. Antara ga pengen ada yang baca blog gue biar bebas nulis tapi pengen ada interaksi supaya semangat nulisnya. Ga sekali dua kali nyari-nyari platform blog yg cocok... pengennya kayak Multiply dulu itu, social media based: ada kontak, ada setting privacy, bisa ngeblog, bisa album foto. Ah dilemma...

Gue, di medsos kesannya ekstrovert banget ya. Padahal aslinya pemalu. Kalo baca postingan yg lama lama suka malu sendiri hahaha... Semua blog yg lama lama udah gue kunciin kecuali blog kristik itu. Ada beberapa postingan di wordpress (kalo ga salah sih isinya satire semua krn ditulis di saat ga happy, jaman gue hamdan sementara suami asker, arghh), terus blog di blogspot (gue ga inget ada tulisannya ga ya? kayaknya isinya cuma copasan postingan gue di Kompasiana) yang nyaris seluruh isinya adalah hasil export postingan gue di Multiply. Semua postingan termasuk komentarnya, kecuali foto. Foto2nya ga sempet ke-export semua. Gara2 gue kira kalo gue export satu satu maka gue bisa ambil screenshoot foto2nya. Ternyata enggak, sejak servernya ngilang itu kotak2 foto cuma keliatan 'tanda tanya' aja gitu :( Nyesel kenapa ga di awal langsung export aja semua, at least semua caption dan komentarnya kerekam gitu ya :( Ah sutralah...
Satu kenangan dari Multiply adalah gue kenalan dengan editor buku terus gue jadi kontributor buku "Jodoh dari Negeri Seberang". Kalo ada yg punya bukunya, "Dari Kisah Ottoman ke Pelaminan" itu gue yang nulis. Ga terlalu puas sih karena gue ga terlibat di proses editannya (kirain sebelum terbit bakal baca dulu mana yg dihapus dan mana yg dipublish, apalagi waktu submitnya buru2 (cuma nulis satu malem aja, di sela2 deadline assignment kuliah), disubmit tahun 2007 kl ga salah, terbitnya tahun 2009 (ada beberapa isinya yg udah ga relevan lagi), gue kira malah ga jadi terbit hehehe... Ya sutralah seenggaknya jadi kenangan apalagi covernya tampang gue dan pak Raden gitu :D

Kompasiana, juga udah ga update, cuma euforia singkat aja :/ Dikala gue udah meninggalkan Kompasiana eh malah salah satu tulisan gue dilirik oleh mereka untuk dibukukan, dengan tema Diaspora Indonesia: Kami Tidak Lupa. Tulisan gue judulnya "Belajar dari Desa: Pengalaman di Tepebasi Koyu, Ermenek, Turki". Awalnya pihak penerbit rajin banget keep in touch, eh setelah teken kontrak ga ada kabarnya aja gitu, kirim email ga dibalas (akhirnya dibalas, beberapa bulan kemudian hehe), iseng googling eh kok tau2 udah keluar aja bukunya, covernya pun baru gue pertama liat di internet itulah. Ga lama dapet kabar dari keluarga kalo bukunya udah dikirim ke rumah, dan summer kemaren pun sampai ke tangan gue waktu kami lagi di Konya. Tulisan gue emang panjang banget jadi ada yang dipangkas disana sini, menurut gue sih jadi bikin kasar alur dari satu kalimat ke kalimat lain. Nama gue disitu pake username di kompasiana (untung username gue ga aneh2 hahaha) dan ga ada biografi singkat penulisnya.

Mudah-mudahan one day bisa nulis buku sendiri sesuai keinginan yang gue bisa rese dan nyinyir from back to back :D

Nah back to 'to blog or not to blog' yah, terakhir gue browsing nyari platform ngeblog yang cocok tuh minggu lalu... ga nemu yg sreg, gue pun menyerah. ya sutralah... Sempet mikir apa bikin .net sendiri aja gitu yah? trus custom order tampilan blog yg kyk multiply gitu. Perlu survey lebih serius ini mah :) Ga tau deh kapan terwujudnya secara gue mulai suka ketularan pak Raden: tar sok tar sok! :D

Sampai akhirnya beberapa hari yang lalu, ada beberapa percakapan menggelitik dengan anak-anak yang membuat gue nulis di fb. Malemnya, gue cerita cerita ke pak Raden. Dia ketawa ketawa gitu "kids say the darndest thing!". Terus dengan serius dia bilang "you've got to write these things, you know". Sayang kalo kenangan manis celotehan2 mereka hilang begitu saja. Siap, Pak! Dan demikianlah akhirnya kenapa gue memutuskan untuk meneruskan blog ini. Semoga ga anget anget tai ayam lagi deh ! :p

What have I done to my turkish husband?

The other day somebody posted a link to this article in Indonesian wives to Turkish husbands group page on Facebook:
What have we done to Turkish men?

When I first read it, I just skimmed it and tried not to take the article seriously. To me, love works in a mysterious way and marriage is something sacred, something that you could not (and should not) relate to race and nationality. For instance, I chose Pak Raden as a husband not because he is a Turkish. Never once crossed my mind to have a foreign husband, but love is love... fate is fate. You can't help it.

FYI, that article had a look at 'why Turkish men like to marry foreign women in general and Syrian women in particular'. To me, the case of Syrians bride is something else. You can't compare and analyse it with other Turkish men-yabanci (foreign) brides marriages. They are refugees, they are almost everywhere in Turkey these days (not only in bordering towns but of course you could easily meet them over there), the reasons are long but I prefer not to list them here because they are sad and tragic. Let us say they were married because of love and God's will, okay? And Syrian girls are Masha Allah beautiful, at least the ones that I've seen in Aleppo.  Once I teased my husband that if he went to Syria before New Zealand probably he would end up with a Syrian wife instead of an Indonesian... but again, love is love and fate is fate... Pak Raden went to New Zealand but when he came back to Turkey he brought an Indonesian wife instead of a Kiwi wife :)

Tonight, I re-read the article again, loudly so my husband could hear it too. We analysed it, had a good laugh together. I think the writer had good points in some of her arguments. 

"Foreign women are pretty; they appear mysterious because they are foreign; they provoke the desire to fight and conquer in Turkish men" (a lot of YES YES YES from him, ha ha!)

Another point: "is that foreign wives and girlfriends have no clue who the Turkish husband really is. The language barrier and cultural differences are perfect for hiding one’s real identity, and any jerk can pass for a fairly decent guy." I have to agree on that one. It doesn't have to be negative tough... Yes I heard that some jerks successfully nailed naive girls as wives because of language barrier and (dis)advantage of internet dating. Apart from those jerks, there are many many good Turkish men. But, it is true that many foreign girlfriends have no clue who their future husband really is. They naively think that their boyfriends are the real BULE, hollywood stars come straight out from their TV... they think Turkey is very modern westernised country. Oh yes Turkey is modern... but they have no idea how traditional that modern Turkey can be, what are responsibilities and expectations come from in laws and society to yabanci brides.

"Turkish girls are high maintenance; foreign girls do not demand that much" Oh well, we can't say much about this point, what can I say... my mother in law is far from high maintenance, and I think both my sister in laws aren't either. So I'll pass ;)

"Turkish men like slave-wives". Who doesn't like? I'd love to have a slave husband :D Once I proposed to my husband if he expected me to entertain his friends from work & their family for dinner, in return he should be my slave for a week (but Dilara said if daddy would become mummy's slave then mummy should give him a million dollar, I tried to tell her if I should pay him then it is not slavery anymore but still she insisted. Daddy's girl!).

"Turkish men now marry Syrian women because they do not talk back to their husbands. Plus they are loyal and obedient" When I asked my husband, 'do I talk back?' his response was 'what? you don't even let me talk!' LOL
Another article, A Syrian bride's tale had a say in this matter: "because trust me, once they learn to speak Turkish they talk up a storm, at least the ones I know!" LOL! I am with you, sister!

Anyways... We both didn't take these things seriously. Pak Raden thought it was just a woman thing, being NYINYIR (he would think the same if he learned that I wrote a lengthy blog post about this :p). 

When I finished reading it to him, he said, 'Yana, why can't you being subdued... wash my feet and all...?' 'I would do it, really... because I love you and if you need my help, I would do it for love not because as an act of subduing. Why? Why women have to be obedient... we should be equal in marriage life'
'Really? Do you love me? I don't know about that...'
'I do... I really do. I washed you when you were sick, remember? after the surgery?'
'I don't know... you raise your voice to me all the time...'
'Oh... that... I do that so you can be obedient to me'
LOL

Happy belated 8 years anniversary!

Is it GEYES enough?

Pak Raden: what is the meaning of geyes in your language?
ha? nothing such geyes in my language
PR: how about when somebody was telling a joke but it was a lame one?
ooooh... JAYUS! lol

Ali: mummy... why do you understand when Indonesians speak?
Because I am Indonesian!
A: but you don't look like Indonesian
What do I look like?
A: ummm... ummm... you look good!

Where is my cellphone again?
Dilara: *sighing* where did you put it last time? *angrily looking for my cell around the house*
I don't know... Sorry, I am a very forgetful person
D: How come you are forgetful but you can remember one plus one, two plus two...! *very angry tone*

xixixi GEYES ga cerita gue?